This E-portfolio is intended to be viewed by close friends and family, and of course my English 34 professor. Because the audience is mostly non-academic, I do not have to be as concerned with impressing my audience through highfalutin diction and complex syntax. My tone will be proud of my personal accomplishments and encourage a friendly invitation to viewers to learn more about them. I think that I will be immediately sharing this E-portfolio to friends and long-distance relatives who have never had a chance to witness my athletic abilities. It is in this sense that the portfolio will mainly be appreciated by my peers because they are being exposed to something new, not me. However, in the future, I may view my portfolio as a means of self-reflection; an old timer’s glance into the past when he/she was young and fit. For this reason, I want to be sure that the medium and manner in which I choose to express my talents is not contemporary and emotional, but rather timeless and neutral. This way I can view my accomplishments more objectively in the future (without having to sift through contemporary terms and unusual connotations).
“This E-Portfolio is designed specifically for the purpose of showcasing Andreas Santucci’s athletic and academic achievements. A little background about myself before I become a diver: I was training to become a gymnast while simultaneously studying; this put a lot of pressure on me to efficiently manage my time, which also meant maturing and learning responsibilities. From second to ninth grade, I trained every weekday for several hours, leaving just enough time in the evenings for homework and dinner. Along my journey to becoming an Olympic Gymnast I unfortunately sustained an injury during freshman year of high school to my right foot; a result of repeated impacts and long term stress. My dreams of becoming an Olympian were seemingly extinguished. Fortunately, I discovered a new sport, similar to gymnastics in the sense that it involved breath-taking acrobatic maneuvers, in which I could excel and satisfy my drive for success: diving. Other than a few weeks of being trained by my gymnastics coach, I hadn’t been exposed to the techniques of this new sport. However, I picked it up very quickly and it soon became clear that I was excelling in yet another field. I became a part of the Los Altos High School Varsity boy’s diving team in my freshman year, and remained a part of it throughout the duration of High School. I have thoroughly enjoyed every dive!"
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50 points. This is a great "jumping off point" for a diving portfolio, Andreas, and the story of your injury and discovering a new sport where you could excel is appealing to any reader. I especially like the idea that you have included yourself -- as an older man -- in your "future" audience! However I do still have some suggestions for expanding the scope and effectiveness of the intro you've planned.
1) Is there an overarching narrative to your diving career you want to highlight -- something htat makes it more of a "tale" or "evolution." I know from my own friends in the sport, for example, that the danger of injury -- and fear of such -- can be quite real. Or perhaps you could use the steps in a dive (the training, approach, launch, execurtion, and entry or whatever) to create a narrative structure in synch with the nature of the sport itself?
2) Narrative or not, your intro needs to include some kind of table of contents or preview of coming attractions to help the reader/visitor "navigate" your site. A kind of "map" of the site as its laid out onscreen.
3) Remember that even though your focus is sport the context of this eportfolio is academic -- so make sure to highlight the self-reflective and analytic portions of your portfolio. It can't just become a compendium of "cool dives I have done."
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